Ann
Thank you! Your post is timely and helpful!
Thank you especially for some of the options you mentioned.
My husband and I agreed to give her 6 months. If I do the math, that gives her plenty of time to get a real job, save money and be ready to move.
I am thinking that if she doesn't go that route and isn't ready to move, those options of women's shelter, etc., are ok with me.
In those 14 years, she wasn't with us always - but the pattern was the same - ranging from full on addiction to some periods where she seemed to improve (got her paralegal certificate with a 4.0) but she never did take responsibility for herself - she was always with a boyfriend or subsidized with student loans, etc.
When she moved in last May, we gave her till March (now) to move out and about three months ago with the deadline looming, she told us she was taking out a student loan and going back to on-line school to cover expenses when she moved... we talked her out of going further into debt and gave her more time - so I see what you mean about manipulation. I think she really got us there.
We talked her right back into our house - we thought we were being compassionate, but I think we were really just not wanting to face reality.
And - I used to go to NarAnon - and I think I need to go back.
thanks again for your post. It reaffirms where we want to go with this.