Originally Posted by
NYCDoglvr 
It's a pretty harsh judgement if he's going to AA. My first sponsor called it "trading up addictions" and it's very common for recovering alcoholics to seek other ways of relieving stress. Some get healthy addictions like fitness and become running fanatics. Thing is it takes a good deal of time (often years) for a program to kick in and real change to happen. Lots of people have difficulty with step four and it can take time. Alcoholics are addicts and of course have addictive thinking. Bill Wilson wrote that drinking is but a symptom of a much bigger problem.
Have you tried Alanon? It was a lifesaver for me, a solid recovery program that fosters changes in attitudes.
Regarding cigar smoking, I'm sure it's unpleasant to be around and you have rights as well. Perhaps ask him to avoid smoking at home? Big hug.
Thank you to all of you but it is true I have to stop being judgemental (it cannot be easy for him). I don't have an al anon to go to in the country where I live, they only have AA (I guess its due to cultural reasons) but I am listening to you, Al anon materials, speakers, reading etc. Started on the steps alone (not ideal but will have to do). Yes I have asked him to smoke outside (which he does) and he is not chain smoking. I just find it strange as for many years he was so anti smoking.