Hi, Felix--glad you found us here at SR. This forum has been such a valuable resource as well as a major source of support for me--I hope you find the same.
Can I suggest that you come on over to the Friends and Family section of the forum? You may find that a lot of the stories there resonate w/you. You also will likely get a lot of benefit from reading the "stickies" at the top of the page. They're a great place for both education and inspiration.
The link to F&F is this:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
Hope you stop over and introduce yourself soon.