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Just discovered husband's 6 year drinking problem.

Old 02-28-2018, 10:09 AM
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Just discovered husband's 6 year drinking problem.

Hello, so apparently 6 years ago, before marriage or kids my husband started secretly drinking. We were only about 22 and drank a lot anyway, but I guess he drank extra. He said he hid it but didn't lie if I asked him until I got pregnant with our first kid. He used to drink a 5th of vodka every 4-5 days and the last year or two a half gallon every 4-5 days. We live literally dollar to dollar so this was very hard to learn.
When I found it he said he hadn't even enjoyed it recently but it was just a habit of his. He said he was glad I found it cuz that's all he needed to quit. He has been sober 14 days now and thinks he doesn't need help. He isn't opposed to it, just thinks he is fine cuz he is so disgusted with himself he doesn't want to drink. I told him that won't last. My dad was also an alcoholic but never got treatment, he just stopped drinking about 4 years ago (except 1-2 beers on weekends now)
Since my dad never had help or anything I feel so lost. This is not something I wanted to deal with. I already spent half my life dealing with an alcoholic. I did not want to be my mom.
Anyway I guess I'm posting to see what I should expect?
He says he never drank before work, and on weekends never before noon. And he never drove drunk apparently. But he would drink while home alone with our 2 children under 3 years old while I worked evenings. He didn't really have withdrawals, but idk if that matters?
What now?
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Old 02-28-2018, 10:16 AM
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Welcome!

I am sorry for your situation.

Only the addict can work the program they want to work. We can not force anyone to do anything they do not or are not willing to do.

I would suggest Alanon for yourself.

I am sure you'll get great advice.

Keep your chin up in the mean time,
DC
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Old 02-28-2018, 10:17 AM
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Sorry to hear your story.
You probably know it only gets worse if he drinks again.
1 drink is too many and a million isn’t enough.
Stay on SR for some good help.
Take care
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Old 02-28-2018, 10:46 AM
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Hi, Felix--glad you found us here at SR. This forum has been such a valuable resource as well as a major source of support for me--I hope you find the same.

Can I suggest that you come on over to the Friends and Family section of the forum? You may find that a lot of the stories there resonate w/you. You also will likely get a lot of benefit from reading the "stickies" at the top of the page. They're a great place for both education and inspiration.

The link to F&F is this: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

Hope you stop over and introduce yourself soon.
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Old 02-28-2018, 10:43 PM
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Hi and welcome Felixfelicis316

I hope that your husband will continue to stay sober...but you'll find support here for yourself through this no matter what - both in the forum, and the others Honeypig mentioned.

D
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Old 02-28-2018, 11:57 PM
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Hi there I'm sorry for your situation and hope your husband seeks help . It would be a great idea to point him to this forum to start with where he will get lots of support .

Best of luck
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