I grew up with an explosive alcoholic mother.
That might have been the start of many of my reactions and where
I got the idea drinking was a way to deal with life and its problems.
But as an adult now, I am in charge of my life and emotions.
The choices I make now cannot be shifted to others--they are mine alone.
Getting sober and staying that way was the first step.
You can worry about "why" after your mind is clear enough to process
the therapy and the digging it will take to get at the source--which you
may find to be irrelevant in the end, as I did.
Right now, from what I can see from your posts, you are using this idea of "unearthing" as an excuse to keep relapsing.
I did the same thing, until I was ready to get serious about quitting
and worry about the "whys" later.
I hope you get to quitting for good soon.
It doesn't sound like you have too many relapses left G--