Yes, it is very much about expectations. I EXPECT a 52 year old man to grow the heck up and stop thinking about himself. How can I adjust to him starting drinking again, or expect him to start drinking again?
Ok I do expect him to start drinking again because he's doing nothing to help himself. Good gosh, Im so confused. I would have to let go of my hopes to see him sober, and if I just give up on that, whats left? There was a reason I told him to stop or walk. Because I wanted him to stop.
Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
Wamama - you are allowed to be HUMAN.
I think this is more about expectations than just simple detachment - he's not on board with recovery & that's not OK with you - is the way I'm hearing you.
I'd work on adjusting to reasonable expectations based on current circumstances (including active drinking) - then work on detaching from it all.
And I'm another vote to get away if you can at all - some space & time apart when things are haywire can be just what everyone needs.
