Originally Posted by
Lee114 
Wow! I feel even more like a fool. This isn't my first rodeo. I really believed him and believed in him. I thought it was real. What we had was unlike any other, but I never thought it was all BS. I guess I was wrong.
I have been exactly where you are, Lee. And it might not have all been BS - my XABF loved me, I am sure. But he was a sick, broken individual who (by his own admission) was a liability in my life and the lives of my daughters.
What you had was indeed like no other; now you must learn from it and move on. I did, and I promise you: If you focus all your energy on your own well being instead of his - your friends, your work, your passions - your life will expand and grow in ways you can't even imagine.
I also recommend Alanon and individual therapy to help you over the bumps. You are not alone. We care, and we understand.