Live in Boyfriend is an alcoholic.

Old 02-21-2018, 07:13 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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When I was dating XABF #1, I came across this article about abusive behavior. I grew up without a father and really had no idea how I was supposed to be treated or what a healthy relationship looked like.

Boy did this article open my eyes! It’s a psychologist’s checklist for abuse—which can happen with or without addiction. Take a look—

https://counsellingresource.com/therapy/self-help/loser/

PS in my situation I gave him two weeks to get out. He refused to find a place to live, so I took him to the Rescue Mission. First smart thing I ever did in my dating life. Was it hard? YES. Am I glad I did it? YES!!

If he’d refused to go? I would have called the police. No drug addict wants you to call the police.
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Old 02-21-2018, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Sailorgirl57 View Post
PS in my situation I gave him two weeks to get out. He refused to find a place to live, so I took him to the Rescue Mission. First smart thing I ever did in my dating life. Was it hard? YES. Am I glad I did it? YES!!

If he’d refused to go? I would have called the police. No drug addict wants you to call the police.
My AF was on Strike 2 with me and his drinking/behavior in my home. I told him Strike 3 would be him leaving my home. Well, he didn't disappoint. When Strike 3 came, I told him he couldn't live with me anymore.

Long story short, I tried to get him to detox at the local hospital. They wouldn't take him, he left the hospital on foot really mad at ME (nothing was ever his fault). That was it.

I talked to him a few times on the phone/text, but haven't seen him since. As far as I know, he got a friend to buy him a greyhound ticket across country to be near his kids.
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Old 02-21-2018, 04:36 PM
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Good for you, Learning. And don’t you dare feel guilty about it! Now you have peace.
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Old 02-21-2018, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Lee114 View Post
Wow! I feel even more like a fool. This isn't my first rodeo. I really believed him and believed in him. I thought it was real. What we had was unlike any other, but I never thought it was all BS. I guess I was wrong.
I have been exactly where you are, Lee. And it might not have all been BS - my XABF loved me, I am sure. But he was a sick, broken individual who (by his own admission) was a liability in my life and the lives of my daughters.

What you had was indeed like no other; now you must learn from it and move on. I did, and I promise you: If you focus all your energy on your own well being instead of his - your friends, your work, your passions - your life will expand and grow in ways you can't even imagine.

I also recommend Alanon and individual therapy to help you over the bumps. You are not alone. We care, and we understand.
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