How long does it take?
Longer than we hope, not as a long as we fear.
Taking care of yourself, staying present and mindful and open, these things facilitate healing, but it still just takes as long as it takes. And don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't be happy about, as that tends to make us feel like we're wrong to grieve something we lost or never have, and we're not.
As for what I did to get through this process, the big things for me were: 1) therapy, 2) spending time with healthy people who genuinely like me, and 3) following my bliss -- eventually I turned the pain of my recovery into a novel, and just the act of engaging in an art that I could lose myself in did wonders for my mental, physical, and emotional health. It energized me and gave me confidence, both of which made everything else easier.