NOBODY deserves that kind of chaos just to try and keep one person that we have deemed OURS chained to the radiator. we don't OWN others. we don't get to pick and say yup YOU ARE NOW MINE and then expect them to conform to the ideas we harbor of what THEY should be like.
the BEST thing you can do is learn to let go. learn to get thru a break up, in one piece. learn how to not get in so deep with someone that you feel you can't breathe unless you hear from them every three hours.
I'm not trying to keep anyone chained to a radiator nor am I trying to own anyone. Nor am I trying to force him to be mine or force him to conform (tho I obviously want the best for him) or expect anything from him. And I am not NOT breathing just because I don't hear from him every three hours nor have I ever felt that way.
It was the sudden change in him, his attitude once he entered Sober Living that caught me off guard and caused my tailspin. My issue and struggle was when he went in and away I felt he was SO ANGRY "with me" based on some things he said and that's what hurt me more than anything, when in fact he wasn't. He's since reached out to me twice to try and explain this, how difficult this is for him and how overwhelmed he feels and that he loves and cares for me and this is just so hard for him. I don't call or text him nor do I plan to. He's in where he needs to be and hopefully will be there for a very long time doing what he needs to do to get himself better. I have no expectations of him nor do I have any expectations of the relationship we had.