MisterA

I walked into a liquor store about an hour ago. First two weeks after quitting it seemed too easy but it’s getting much harder for some reason. I went back and forth like a dozen times; I was like “ok, going to exit and grab a bottle” but then I passed the exit on purpose, but then I did a u-turn, found myself in the parking lot and said “nope, not gonna drink tonight” and went to the Half-Priced Books next to it thinking I’d get some LSAT study materials, didn’t find anything for the LSAT, exited without any books, then did some walking back and forth between the liquor store and my car, like “yea...naah...or maybe...no....ok...”

So I walk in, froze at the entrance, looked at the small bottles behind the counter, found that they only carried 80proof bottles in the 500ml size, not 100proof, decided 80proof was not strong enough and I couldn’t sneak in any larger bottles (well, I guess I could have... put it in a water bottle or something in the garage...), and then walked out empty handed.

So I guess it was a victory, but it doesn’t feel like a victory. Really, the only thing that held me back was that the liquor in the bottles I could sneak in wasn’t strong enough. It’s like I won a sporting event because my opponent slept in or something. Next time it won’t go down like it did.

Hell, I came home and found out that no one is home, and even now I’m thinking “shoulda got the big bottle...”

😞