Hi Jojo,
I'm sorry you've been going through all this. Honestly as an alcoholic myself your post reads as though you are addicted to the boyfriend, and to some part of the chaos of that relationship, I don't know that much about codependency but maybe that's what it is.
I think you will heal best if you can stay single for awhile, while you move forward with therapy. You can post here as much as you need to. Hope things are settling down.