Jojopisces

I'm JoJo I met my AB in June. I don't drink as in 14 I got a dui from not eating much at the casino and leaving on a few glasses of wine.
Anyways the relationship felt great he was more in love with me than me him at first. I would notice if I was coming to see him he would ask me to grab nips and beer first I thought it's summer he just wants to have a good time. But, I realized if I wasn't there he would walk to the lq store upon its opening to get his fix.
He has a child one daughter (4 years old) he always talked so badly of the mother awful, horrendous things she did. After they had the baby she was nuts, tapped, and bipolar. I noticed victim like symptoms. His drinking would start out happy, funny, laughing early in day, sobbing, crying, hugging me, and bizarre victim like behavior, followed by a psychosis type thing I know you were talking to that guy, who that's in the background in your home, or car u sneaky ***** . I know his child's mother got married shortly after the baby I think he never came back from that.
I drove and ubered him over non profit to her house for the past 9 months. I was told to hide my car like I'm a dirty little secret. I made him a resume got him a great job things seemed better from sept- November he wasn't drinking on weekdays as the job was very strict. I have been with him to the hospital at least ten times" a bug", a pinched nerve, bad back. Now he is out of work waiting surgery.
I know I'm a code as I attract these types. He accused me of sleeping with mg boss as I'm in sales and I'm always on email and text with my co-workers regarding production and new prospects. He would get so drunk invite me to family outings and in his mind I wanted his family members he punched my dashboard leaving an event with this whole drunken story that didn't exist.
It all came to a head about three weeks ago him always accusing me of cheating my gut felt I did so much I feel he is up to something. I went in phone child's mother
Him: I miss us
Her: aww I miss u as well
Her: what do you miss
Him: our family, your cooking, and cuddling with you.
Her: he's moving out March 1st ( husband)
Him: what does that mean i can come back
Her: we will see
That's all I got as he caught me in the phone. I fell on his bed and cried and sobbed I couldn't even leave the scene I have ptsd and anxiety I just couldn't move. I was sexually assaulted in 2015 by a stranger so I got my own stuff going on. The criminal is coming to an end and this stranger is either taking me to trial or taking a plea. I finally left that night lost sad
I got him back to his daughter and now they are plotting a move in behind my back
I got him a great job and cleaned him up only to lose all self esteem and confidence. I became angry calling saying mean things to him, then crying, then mean. I bring up the daughters mother I thought she was evil, tapped, bipolar but you want her back. He said I drunk messages her so he sent her a message in front of me saying I love my gf disregard what I said.
I said why don't you ahit alcohol he said I'll never quit. Now I'm tapped, bipolar, nuts, and need the Looney bin according to him. I am on mood stabilizers and low dose valium both prescribed he tells me take your meds, go to bed, sweres your a stalker. I almost went inpatient but I'll lose my job over this? I need my job. If I quit I'll be at home all day reliving this and my assault. Not healthy. I cry a lot even spoke to his mom who said we all tried to help I realized a long time ago my son will die young of alcoholism. all I'm doing is working on in mortgages 20 hours a week after that I go home and sleep until work again. I'm very depressed I no longer enjoy hobbies and I lack supports as my friends walked out of my life after my assault. I guess they were good time Charlie, hanger ons, and not authentic. It's me, my therapist, and my trauma therapist for support. I had to take time out of work to get some support. He even said drunk your just another female faking an assault. I felt dead. I did everything for him. I feel jealous of the daughters mom if you hate her so much you launched a smear campaign against her now you love her and want her back and your launching a smear campaign on me.
I feel they have been hooking up the whole time as she drinks as well and her relationship with her husband is on again off again. I hate her and I hate him and I hate myself for staying. I never had a dad he left when I was a baby I find myself in these toxic relationships. I changed my number today it was hard even though it shouldn't be I have to go no contact to heal and take down a rapist and work. How can I get back up and get jo back. Therapists are only with you 45 mins of the week. I know I was stupid, enabling, and should have left after the first put down I know he has trauma like me bad car accidents where he is still alive by the jaws of life. I used to justify if I can get him to a therapist and on depression meds and off booze he will heal. I can't save him only save myself. I want to quit on life and sleep all this away like its a bad dream but when I wake up the pain is there. 1st day number change no contact. Run right. Never help, call again etc as my suffering changes nothing and he is always out drinking and partying and he isn't suffering. I spent a lot if money on him to the point my credit card I fell behind on and my credit line revoked. Not for alcohol clothes for his job, help with his daughter, gas for my car as he lives 90 minutes away. I recognize we have no kids, his life is going now where, he lost the job due to alcohol slowly decaying his body. Everything I did was a waste. I always ran back as when sober he would say I'm such an ass, move on you deserve better, and he would cry and apologize. I think he might have wet brain. Enough about him I hit bottom what can I do?
Very Best,
Jo