Recovery is an inside job. We can be sitting in an AA meeting or living in a sober house, but if we spend the time finding ways of transferring our addictions (many Alcoholics also have issues with sex and relationships- trying to patch internal feelings with people) or getting all nostaligic over our old exploits (reminiscing about drunken antics or old drinking buddies are prime examples) then we aren't really getting what Recovery is all about.
From what you say it doesn't sound to me like he's gonna be 'getting this' any time soon. I hope I'm wrong but he seems stuck at the 'drinking is who I am' hurdle. Not a nice place to be. You have a choice though. YOU don't need to sit at that hurdle with him, hoping and praying that he won't just decide it's easier to go back than find a way to get past that hurdle.
BB