I'm so sorry. What a betrayal. Don't beat yourself up about not smelling it and noticing the signs. My AH can be really sneaky about covering tracks, and at times he must also think I'm a total moron. But I also wasn't looking for it until I felt like I "had" to look for it. I only smelled the vodka when I was pregnant.
I would like to say you should be proud of yourself for being sober, and I'm so glad you don't want to drink with him. I'm sorry for your hurting