Welcome to SR. It sounds like life stresses have pushed you back into addiction? I am sure you know drinking will only make things worse......I understand completely the wish to numb yourself but it never really works for long. I know.......I have tried to do that for decades. Read around SR, keep posting and if you are still struggling to quit after reaching out here and spending time reading, you could maybe consider seeing a therapist or going to group support (AA or SMART).
Best wishes.