Your feelings are incredibly valid and EVERYONE on SR here can relate! It amazes me how I can read things here of others experiences and how we all go through almost an identical thing when the crazy of addiction enters our lives. I can tell you whole heartedly that I became a freezing cold person to my xabf as his disease progressed. I loved him deeply, but the pain that his drinking caused created an ice queen. And boy did he never fail to remind me of it as though all of the hurt he had caused was no reason for my coldness. The thing is, is that I didn't want to be cold, I just could no longer hide my pain or my feelings. I didn't want him to touch me, I didn't want to send cute texts to him anymore, I didn't want to make love. I just wanted him to change. A futile effort. The relationship hung on with life support only because I felt too afraid to leave him, yet I didn't want to be around him anymore as the disease took over and I saw old patterns continue to surface.
Please know your feelings are very real and very valid. It is selfish of him to say you are cold when he has created an atmosphere where warmth is impossible to penetrate. I wish you lots of love and luck. I would also be very wary that he is moderating vs. quitting. The problem with moderation is that it only lasts so long. Alcoholism is progressive. He's playing with fire , especially moderating without any program in place. While we don't have a crystal ball, he could very well be heading into his "old type of drinker" self.