nonnie I'm so sorry your AS has acted this way. From the outside it seems that the lies are more about your wonderful husband finally drawing a line in the sand with your AS, and he is seething with resentment about it. What I can't comprehend is that your eldest daughter is along for the ride. It seems there are some nasty family dynamics going on there. For a start you'd think that your 19yo could straighten her out right away about whether your H not being an addict.
I agree with Dandy that some one-on-one therapy with a counsellor might give you some insights now. Also that your boundaries are still important, and holding to them will gain you more respect in the end that showing you can be intimidated.
Thinking of you.