But you have chosen NOT to pick up that drink... That is being powerful.
I need a regular reminder I'm an alcoholic because denial and rationalization accompany me through recovery. I can literally forget I'm a non-drinker and if that happens, if a drink is in front of me, suddenly pick it up. Thing is, most people who relapse don't make it back. I was in a meeting and the guy sitting next to me was crying. I asked if he needed help; his response: "I was sober six years and and now after six rehabs I can't stop drinking". This time the craving was more than he could handle. Why couldn't he just stop? No one knows.
This is also a progressive disease and an alcoholic can't control the progression.
You continue to forget this is a mental illness and you can't understand it with rational thinking.
Ask yourself what YOUR motive is in wanting your wife to stop AA. I detect fear. We call self-centered fear: fear of loosing what you have or not getting what you demand.