Hi and welcome Lucy
you posted in our Chat Admin Forum so I moved your post here to Newcomers Forum for more response.
I'm sorry for what brings you here. I think one of the hardest things to do is stand by and watch someone you love self destruct.
It doesn't have to be your job to look after them tho, or your fathers eeither comes to that.
One of the ideas that groups like AlAnon push is that it's often better to
'detach with love' from the alcoholic in our lives.
That means not bailling them out, not picking up after them , not being a defacto parent for them.
The hope is that having to responsible for their actions might lead them to seek recovery.
It worked with me.
We also have a Family and Friends forum section you might want to visit https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family
and, if you did want the chat room, follow this link https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/achat.php