Originally Posted by
aliciagr 
Your therapist should be able to help you explore boundary options based on your specific situation. Based on what you posted above, it didnt sound like you were aware of the relapse which possibly means there were no obvious behavioral changes in him which affected you?
Addiction has symptoms, one of which is sneaking, hiding, denying the problem. My husband did it too. It really had nothing to do with trying to hurt me, and it had nothing to do with his morals or character.
If your husband is still in the hospital? I think you should turn to their resources and speak to his doctor. A medical education on addiction/alcoholism is the best in my opinion. There are many resources for family members including therapist who work primarily in addiction medicine. These people help family members navigate the process.
At one point I was ashamed of what was happening in my family and due to this I isolated from my parents and long time friends. It was a huge mistake on my part because those who knew me best, and cared the most about me and my husband - those were the ones who were able to provide me the most support.
As a side note. For me, the most important boundaries are based on health and safety needs, and the care of my child.
There were no obvious changes, but looking back there might have been a few red flags. My son has had some medical challenges this past year and has taken my entire attention, so there might have been more where I didn’t notice.
My therapist is an addiction counselor along with PTSD, which is what I’ve been working on. My AH went into liver failure, six months later I found out I was pregnant, two days later I found my mom after she had a massive stroke (she survived, but is disabled), I was put on bed rest for preeclampsia, delivered early, my son was in the NICU for 4 months and had three major surgeries, and then have been swamped by doctor appointments and therapy appointments on top of running my own business. Therapy was a must. However; she will be out of the country for about a month... so I’m so happy I found this group!