You asked about boundaries...
For me boundaries took practice. I had spent many years laying down rules and expectations for him to follow. That did not work out well for either of us. It was just a road to resentment, anger, frustration for both of us. And of course just led to more deceit and lies from him, more snooping from me... all extremely unhealthy stuff.
Boundaries aren't rules you set for him, boundaries are protections you set for yourself.
"You may not drink in our home".... is a rule
" I won't stay home with him when he is drinking".....is a boundary
It's up to every individual to decide what their boundaries are, and what course of action they will take when that boundary gets crossed.
My first boundary was, " I will not engage with him when he is drinking/drunk" (That now goes for pretty much anybody I encounter. It's pointless to try and have meaningful conversation with a drunk person.)
Alcoholics are deceptive. Always. It's the nature of the disease. They will lie, deceive, lie by omission etc, whatever it takes to protect their ability to consume alcohol. They will absolutely will turn all that all around on you and make it "your fault". Please don't take it to heart and don't take it personally, it's what they do, it's what they all do.
The book, " Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie was a life saver for me.
Spending as much time as I could here on SR-F&F was valuable beyond words. The strength, wisdom and fellowship here has saved the sanity of many, many, many broken people who love alcoholics/addicts.
Hang in there, I know how hard it is to be married to an alcoholic, I did it for two decades.... I don't recommend it.
*hugs*