I keep it all inside too. No one even knows I drink as much as I do
I used to think the same thing.
Then I realized my body was keeping score.
Alcoholism is progressive, and it takes a physical toll on our bodies which isn't readily apparent at first, especially when we may be in denial about our drinking. However, as you age, your ability to recover decreases. Kindling, which is the phenomenon of increasingly severe withdrawal symptoms is very real.