Thanks, everyone. Super helpful replies. Every single one of 'em. I really appreciate the support. :-)
I went to my first AA meeting this morning in 10 years. It was a great group of people. I got pretty teary at the beginning because I kept thinking of her and "Why can't she be here with me?" And "She will never come here... she'll die instead... I can't help her."
I agree with the poster who said that it's ME and my drinking I need to focus on. My recovery. Not hers. Once I shifted the focus to me and stopped thinking about her, I could enjoy the rest of the meeting without tears running down my face (embarrassing!)
I did write her back last night. I said that I miss her too and that I hoped we could be friends down the road. I figured adding that last part would save me from a quagmire. It seemed to. She wrote back in the affirmative and that was that. Now, I suspect she'll make contact again but I'm pretty sure I know how to repel her (the way one would a vampire, with garlic ;-))... all I have to do is mention AA and she'll back off forever. Pretty sure of that.
I plan to go back to the group next Sunday too. I can't remember the last time I was walking the quiet streets of my town on a Sunday morning! Wow. It was kinda magical.
Thanks again for all the support and wishing you all a great rest of the weekend...
P