I made the mistake of jumping into a relationship with my alcoholic "soul mate" during the time that I was legally separated from my H (not an A). The marriage wasn't really working for either of us, and it was the right thing to do.
What I did wrong was to hang all my hopes on an alcoholic, jump into that relationship with both feet and never look at my own stuff. Relationship jumping was a pattern for me until I worked my Al Anon steps concurrently with therapy. The "new guy" was my fix when I was disenchanted with a relationship. I needed to be single for some time to see that I was responsible for my own happiness, and to start loving myself before I could have a healthy relationship with anyone else.
I should have done all that years ago, but I had no idea how unhealthy this behavior really was having grown up watching it repeated by the adults around me. Everything was always someone else's fault. The guys were jerks, alcoholics, cheaters, whatever. It couldn't be me, I was almost perfect (lol)!
Take care. I hope you can find clarity for yourself.