Originally Posted by
ProfessorD 
I'm so sorry, and I've totally been there. I hate that feeling of drinking in the morning to take the edge off. And the dread of fearing your future emotions. You can survive this! What you're feeling right now will be the motivation you need to recover.
It really is horrific. However, I shall use it as a motivator to stop. I did it before and I started to feel great. But then I messed up. I shall use these forums every single day.