Codie Ways Again?
I've been volunteering heavily the past 3 years since splitting with exah and have started to question my involvement in various things I was doing. This came to a head several times when I was ill, my kids were ill and other life stuff needed dealing with and the volunteer place was less than supportive, despite me giving my all most of the time for free.
I began to see a pattern. I bend over backwards to be helpful, they sucked me dry. I get ill, they ignore me, I go back ( before am better) and the whole cycle starts again. My motives for volunteering came into question. I asked myself why? They are less than pure. I did it soley cos am lonely and thought it would bring friends across my path but it hasn't. The people I worked for aren't my friends and the people I did the work for aren't either. I was just being used. I allowed it but no more.
My willingness to be put on is slowly disappearing. I am starting to see I do not have to do things for people all the time. How I make friends tho is another issue. It's difficult being home as a carer to my disabled son so not able to work much.. I have very few opportunities to meet people and I don't do pubs and bars cos I tended to meet alcoholics in them in the past but I'll sort something out eventually.