I would like to say that this is not hard but it is. You are doing the right thing by reaching out. It was a year and 4 months ago I reached out for help and found out that I could not do this by myself. By the grace of my Higher Power I am sober today. Admitting that we are powerless is a Big Step. No one wants to admit that they are powerless and out of control. Least of all me. I hope that the meeting goes good. Get some numbers and don't be afraid to give them a call. We have all been there. Just remember to take it one day at a time. Sometimes we have to take one hour at a time. I wish you the best of luck!