I'm sorry that you are going through this. I truly hope you find some peace in this situation.
My mother was verbally abusive to me. In fact, there are still odd moments when I hear her words in my head. When I began recovery, in my late forties, I knew for sure that I my mother was not going to be part of my life. Fortunately, we didn't live in the same city, so that helped. I did allow very occasional, brief phone calls, but I never, ever said anything remotely personal to her. It was essential to my recovery and I never regretted it for a moment. In fact, it was a relief. When she was dying, I considered reconciling with her. I did visit her, but I did not reconcile. I knew for sure, she would never admit to any wrong-doing and would lay all the blame on me. And, there was no way on earth I was going to allow her to take away my hard-earned self-esteem ever again.