Thanks everyone. I’m okay, thank god. I was doing SO well and then went out to see a movie with my sister and brother-in-law in the suburbs. We went to dinner after and it was just so cold and so snowy and I just kept thinking ‘one night? It’s just ONE night to reward myself for all my hard work’. A glass of red wine would be SO perfect. But at the same time, I was thinking about how devastated I’d feel. It’s like there was an actual angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. It became too hard to watch other people drinking, so I just hightailed it out of there and skipped dinner and drove the 2 hours all the way back to the city (the plan had been to spend the night). The only way I could stop myself from drinking was to make a promise with myself that if I still wanted one tomorrow (“one” meaning a bottle, not a glass), I could have one, because then it would be a planned intelligent decision as opposed to simply a response to a craving. Thus, it would be ‘okay’. Yes, I know that’s nuts. ‘Okay’ In what way?! But, this weird deal I made with myself put me at ease long enough to get out of there and get my head on straight(er). Someone said wait 100 days and it’ll get easier, another person said 5 months...I tried to remind myself that each time I ‘beat’ the craving, the easier the next time will be so to consider this hellish moment one step closer to being free. But I’m not even sure if that’s true or I’m making it upto make myself feel better. I do know I’m super glad to have made it. I just don’t like how I can’t foresee making it a lifetime. That sounds impossible. Just impossible. But, I’m fine for now. Thank you all/