Originally Posted by
Stella517 
Thank you everyone for your support and understanding. I guess right now it's hard to wrap my head around this and even realize this is happening. I still feel that I am fault - is that normal?
I keep thinking that maybe it was a mistake.. That maybe I overreacted and he doesn't have a drinking problem? That he is a good man and he was right and I just didn't do my part? Maybe everything he said about me was right?... I admit I am nowhere near perfect, that I have things to work on.
But I am doubting myself so much. I could be the fear of being alone or it could be that I got beaten down so much that I can't even get back up.
Stella, Every relationship will have good times especially in the beginning. It is very easy to concentrate on those good times and hope for them. Many times this is what keeps us in a more bad than good relationship far too long. Then it becomes an issue of I've invested all this time and then it's there are children.
He won't change because of your hopes and dreams. Not in a toxic relationship. He will offer breadcrumbs to keep you appeased.
There are reasons we decide to stay. It is ok to decide to look on to someone better in life.