Originally Posted by
hearthealth 
This sounds like my marriage before stopping drinking. The thing is this is his nature even when sober even though it is better it's hard to tolerate for a life time. My husband got upset about something yesterday that was due to the effects of drinking eight monthes ago. He blames me and totally forgets what brought me to the brink of divorce. It's no way to live a happy life.
Stopping drinking isn't enough for truly recovering. I now know this after many years and many attempts at sobriety by my H. Google dry drunk and you will understand. Alcohol is only a small part of the addiction. Topping drinking isn't enough, they're basically the same person but now have zero coping mechanisms now that that alcohol is gone. It took a lot of time and a lot of intense therapy in rehab and meetings during and after rehab for my H to change and learn healthy coping skills. His reactivity has gone down immensely. It hasn't fixed our marriage so far due to the many years or hurt but I will admit he has really changed a lot for the better. But it took a LOT of work (about 7 weeks into rehab before he would finally starts to understand his ways...)