glenl,
I haven't divorced, yet through prayer, meditation, counseling and therapy I've been walked through through most of the process. I've let go of my marriage in many healthy ways. I no longer fear the process, my husband's reactions, other people's reactions or being divorced. I've lived in separate cities from my husband for more than two years, with a brief period early in that where I was back in the chaos and found more strength within me to leave again.
I now see all these things as GOOD that have opened me up, strengthened me and have pushed me towards HEALING beyond anything I was able to know, that I so greatly needed.
So...
I approach this the way I do anything now:
1. Prayer
2. Connecting with healthy people who are experienced with similar situations
3. Trusting my gut, my instincts
4. Keeping a body awareness of how I'm feeling and letting my brain have a rest. My brain often lives in logic and fear. The heart and gut lead me into much better places.
Take things one day at a time. As the small things are taken care of, so is the big picture. Take care of your daily FREEDOM, JOY, and RECOVERY. (((Hugs)))