glenl

So, it's been almost 6 weeks since I left. And we finally discussed what's going to happen (divorce) in starker terms than either of us was willing to before. I think he is actually starting to "get it" to some extent, and I am really glad for him if so, but it doesn't change anything for me.

Right now, I am trying to stay on my own path but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't considering the impact of my actions on him before I do anything re: actually filing for divorce. I know I need to let go and let him feel his own feelings about it, and that I am not responsible for those feelings, but it's easier said than done.

I feel strongly that I want to get this over with and behind me so I can move on with my life, but there's still a sliver of me that fears the judgment that may come from some people. I am able to work myself out of that feeling each time I feel it, so I know that's progress, but I still feel weaker than I'd like to feel in this regard.

In our state, if he agrees, then filing for a no fault divorce can be very easy. We share no children, no real estate, just the stuff in our apartment and our cats (which I have resigned myself to allowing him to keep, at least for the foreseeable future). I have a legal background and already sat down and drew up most of the papers just so I could feel like I was doing something about it and not just letting it hang over my head.

For those who have divorced or are in process, I would love to hear about how you handled it and your experience if you are willing to share. I was divorced from my first husband (married very young due to pregnancy, it was an enormous mistake) but the circumstances were very different and I handled it very poorly (he cheated, I freaked out, etc). I am committed to, at least for myself, handling this as well as possible.