This place is a refuge for the sick, not a showcase for the satisfied. You will always be welcome here so long as you are respectful and supportive to others (which from what I've seen you consistently have been).
You know, before I got sober through this place and AA I could not understand that love was not dependent on earning it through success. By being 'good'. For that reason, although I wanted to believe in God, and did believe in his existance I could not have faith, Faith that is that he would love me, or care about me, or help me. But this place and AA helped me learn about grace. That love which is not about being deserved, or earned, or dependent on being something we are not.
I couldn't understand why people were being so kind. Why they'd want me around. Why they'd care about how I was or if I stayed sober. But that is fellowship. Grace in action. And you know, feeling that for long enough that I couldn't deny it any longer, and feeling it work through me when I started to care about other people as well (yes! I know - scary ****!) gave me a new and stronger faith in God, and an understanding of his grace that church had never been able to get through to my thick head and bubblewrapped heart.
You know. You are loved. We are all loved. Amazing as that sounds - not because we deserve it, but because we just are. The reason to get soberbisnt to earn love but maybe so you can learn to accept that love, and love yourself.
You spoke of being brave. Courageous. Well, you know, those things don't involve an absence of fear. Being fearless is not the point. I don't believe any hero didn't feel fear before going and doing thier thing. That would just be psychotic, not heroic. The point is, that you feel the fear, but let faith be the thing to guide you. I felt far too hopeless to do this at first, so it was important that I borrowed other peoples hope. And that's why it's important to hang out with others who've walked this path ahead of you. And to know that we didn't manage it by being special. We did it by following others ahead of the path to us. Harnessingbtheir hope and developing some faith IN THEM, until we coukd have faith in our own ability to do this thing. And then we realised that we could do it, and had a different kind of hope plus some experience.
When folk in AA talk about the sharing of experience, strength and hope, that is why it's important. Just as the fellowship side of things is important as well.
BB