Honestly, I think I should leave...
Honestly, I think I should leave...
Hi Sr,
I honestly think I should leave this site. I love it, don't get me wrong. But, I don't feel that I am welcome any longer. I have been here too long, I have relapsed too many times, I have worn out my welcome.
I wish things were different, I want to be part of your SR "clique". But I'm not. I thank you so much for your help in the past, but I don't think that I fit in with your way of thinking. I will never be part of the "clique", and that's ok.
Thanks,
WF
I honestly think I should leave this site. I love it, don't get me wrong. But, I don't feel that I am welcome any longer. I have been here too long, I have relapsed too many times, I have worn out my welcome.
I wish things were different, I want to be part of your SR "clique". But I'm not. I thank you so much for your help in the past, but I don't think that I fit in with your way of thinking. I will never be part of the "clique", and that's ok.
Thanks,
WF
I hope you don't choose to go--why not stop over at the weekenders thread?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...an-2018-a.html (New Year Weekender 28 Dec 2017 - 02 Jan 2018)
I haven't really noticed "clique" stuff but then I post only limited places--
If you share what's bothering you maybe we can help?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...an-2018-a.html (New Year Weekender 28 Dec 2017 - 02 Jan 2018)
I haven't really noticed "clique" stuff but then I post only limited places--
If you share what's bothering you maybe we can help?
Well it's certainly your choice.
I haven't seen cliquey stuff either.
When I first joined I spent a lot of time in my "Class of March" thread. That was instant camaraderie.
I also posted in the thread for March of the previous year, I needed to see people further along the path so I could get some idea of what to expect.
I posted in "Whiners" for a while, because I'm whiny.
I posted in "Undies" (one year and under, in Newcomers.)
I posted in Fluffy's thread in Cafe Central.
I posted in the 24 hour thread every day.
I posted in Weekenders.
So I reached out to as many threads as I felt like I needed. They were all more than welcoming and accepting of me.
Maybe try that. There is something for everyone, from football to fitness, recipes, gardening, weight loss, to motorcycles and everything in between.
I haven't seen cliquey stuff either.
When I first joined I spent a lot of time in my "Class of March" thread. That was instant camaraderie.
I also posted in the thread for March of the previous year, I needed to see people further along the path so I could get some idea of what to expect.
I posted in "Whiners" for a while, because I'm whiny.
I posted in "Undies" (one year and under, in Newcomers.)
I posted in Fluffy's thread in Cafe Central.
I posted in the 24 hour thread every day.
I posted in Weekenders.
So I reached out to as many threads as I felt like I needed. They were all more than welcoming and accepting of me.
Maybe try that. There is something for everyone, from football to fitness, recipes, gardening, weight loss, to motorcycles and everything in between.
My AV was great at making me feel uncomfortable.
My addiction wanted me separated from the world drinking alone in my room.
Honestly wildflower - you've had nothing but support and good vibes here. I know cos I've been keeping an eye on you and your threads
Take a few deep breaths and, if possible, at least a few days off the booze to really reevaluate.
At least be willing to consider that it's drinking and your addiction that is making you want to turn tail and run from the only support you have right now?
If you're drinking or you want to, and that makes you feel uncomfortable here thats actually a good thing.
Change is what we all want
D
My addiction wanted me separated from the world drinking alone in my room.
Honestly wildflower - you've had nothing but support and good vibes here. I know cos I've been keeping an eye on you and your threads
Take a few deep breaths and, if possible, at least a few days off the booze to really reevaluate.
At least be willing to consider that it's drinking and your addiction that is making you want to turn tail and run from the only support you have right now?
If you're drinking or you want to, and that makes you feel uncomfortable here thats actually a good thing.
Change is what we all want
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Hi Sr,
I honestly think I should leave this site. I love it, don't get me wrong. But, I don't feel that I am welcome any longer. I have been here too long, I have relapsed too many times, I have worn out my welcome.
I wish things were different, I want to be part of your SR "clique". But I'm not. I thank you so much for your help in the past, but I don't think that I fit in with your way of thinking. I will never be part of the "clique", and that's ok.
Thanks,
WF
I honestly think I should leave this site. I love it, don't get me wrong. But, I don't feel that I am welcome any longer. I have been here too long, I have relapsed too many times, I have worn out my welcome.
I wish things were different, I want to be part of your SR "clique". But I'm not. I thank you so much for your help in the past, but I don't think that I fit in with your way of thinking. I will never be part of the "clique", and that's ok.
Thanks,
WF
One nice thing about SR is that there is no one way of thinking. If you agree with something someone said, great, if you disagree, that's great also. SR provides a wide variety of ways to get and stay sober. As far as relapses go; many people here have relapsed many times, me included. The most important thing is to keep coming back and keep trying. To leave cause of what other think about your sobriety is giving a lot of power to other people. Your sobriety has nothing to do with anybody but you. You control your own destiny. Good luck. John
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Wild Flower, I hope you do not leave. Is it possible the recent relapse is messing with your thinking. I mean this kindly....I am still trying to get back on track from my relapse. You know it makes us all supersensitive, ashamed and feeling like the 'different one'. Stay with me here....I am definitely not part of any inner circle on SR, if one exists. And thats fine. I don't need to be. I need this community for support and I hope I can do something to support others. Thats all. I don't have to be perfect or top of the sober days list to do that. Neither do you. Hang on and give this another shot.
My AV was great at making me feel uncomfortable.
My addiction wanted me separated from the world drinking alone in my room.
Honestly wildflower - you've had nothing but support and good vibes here. I know cos I've been keeping an eye on you and your threads
Take a few deep breaths and, if possible, at least a few days off the booze to really reevaluate.
At least be willing to consider that it's drinking and your addiction that is making you want to turn tail and run from the only support you have right now?
If you're drinking or you want to, and that makes you feel uncomfortable here thats actually a good thing.
Change is what we all want
D
My addiction wanted me separated from the world drinking alone in my room.
Honestly wildflower - you've had nothing but support and good vibes here. I know cos I've been keeping an eye on you and your threads
Take a few deep breaths and, if possible, at least a few days off the booze to really reevaluate.
At least be willing to consider that it's drinking and your addiction that is making you want to turn tail and run from the only support you have right now?
If you're drinking or you want to, and that makes you feel uncomfortable here thats actually a good thing.
Change is what we all want
D
With kindness and love..WF
Well, I hope you don't go. I reckon that your AV is probably just upping it a notch since its feeling big and strong since the recent feeding time. Reminds me of how I can feel so isolated and lonesome even amongst friends or family when my HALT triggers are up, or I get hormonal (there's generally 2 days of the month where i firmly believe that everyone hates me, and I have to work hard not to react to those thoughts and feelings, because I've learnt it does pass after those two days). My fear after a binge always left me feeling like that as well. Horrible, horrible feeling.
Anyway. The good news is that you don't need to make any firm decision right now. You can decide to take a few days break and decide later. Or just hide posts from anyone in particular who might be rattling you (not me I hope - week. Paranoia striking here in East of England).
Anyway. Please don't go. This place really does help folk stay sober (hence AVs disliking us coming here so much!)
Whatever you decide Wildflower, I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Anyway. The good news is that you don't need to make any firm decision right now. You can decide to take a few days break and decide later. Or just hide posts from anyone in particular who might be rattling you (not me I hope - week. Paranoia striking here in East of England).
Anyway. Please don't go. This place really does help folk stay sober (hence AVs disliking us coming here so much!)
Whatever you decide Wildflower, I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Well, I hope you don't go. I reckon that your AV is probably just upping it a notch since its feeling big and strong since the recent feeding time. Reminds me of how I can feel so isolated and lonesome even amongst friends or family when my HALT triggers are up, or I get hormonal (there's generally 2 days of the month where i firmly believe that everyone hates me, and I have to work hard not to react to those thoughts and feelings, because I've learnt it does pass after those two days). My fear after a binge always left me feeling like that as well. Horrible, horrible feeling.
Anyway. The good news is that you don't need to make any firm decision right now. You can decide to take a few days break and decide later. Or just hide posts from anyone in particular who might be rattling you (not me I hope - week. Paranoia striking here in East of England).
Anyway. Please don't go. This place really does help folk stay sober (hence AVs disliking us coming here so much!)
Whatever you decide Wildflower, I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
Anyway. The good news is that you don't need to make any firm decision right now. You can decide to take a few days break and decide later. Or just hide posts from anyone in particular who might be rattling you (not me I hope - week. Paranoia striking here in East of England).
Anyway. Please don't go. This place really does help folk stay sober (hence AVs disliking us coming here so much!)
Whatever you decide Wildflower, I wish you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB
I'm telling you the truth, I don't feel right here. Not welcome, not right. Everyone is getting sober. And, I'm screwing up...how do I compare? Shabby at best....UGH
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 104
Dee, You have been nothing but kind and welcoming..Thank you. I only think of leaving because I'm not on the same page. I'm not SOBER!! I'm still in the darkness, and I don't want to bring anyone down. And when I am sober, I'm not in the "clique". I never feel "good enough"here...doesn't that mean it's time to do something different?
With kindness and love..WF
With kindness and love..WF
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Dee, You have been nothing but kind and welcoming..Thank you. I only think of leaving because I'm not on the same page. I'm not SOBER!! I'm still in the darkness, and I don't want to bring anyone down. And when I am sober, I'm not in the "clique". I never feel "good enough"here...doesn't that mean it's time to do something different?
With kindness and love..WF
With kindness and love..WF
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
I'm sorry you feel that way. As others have said, I don't think you should turn away from the support here. Stick with it, keep trying, that's the best thing to do no matter what your AV is trying to tell you.
X
X
From what I can see, nobody thinks you're not welcome - aoart from you. And I'm still reckoning that's your addictive voice whispering negativities in your ear so that you're more likely to drink again. All this sobriety makes an AV nervous you know, so it's trying to divide and conquer. You don't have to let it.
Sure, things probably DO need to change. But like someone else suggested, it's likely to be more useful to add things IN rather than take things away from your recovery. If you take this place away what does your recovery plan and support look like?
X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
The people that are sober are trying to stay sober. Everyone else like you are working on getting sober and that's a lot of people. John
Now is when you need to be here even more than ever Wildflower. Being sober is not a requirement to post here, and there is no "time limit". We would hope that you want to get sober....but even that is not a requirement to be here. I hope you stay.
Wildflower, please for your sake don't leave, you don't have to be sober to be here, there are many DAY 1s here, we are all struggling and we are all at different stages of recovery, the point is that we are always trying and always wanting to stop, as soon as you turn your back on that what is left.....?
Your AV/inner child/or whatever you want to call it will have its cake and eat it too, it will tell you that you aren't good enough, you're not part of the "clique" like everyone else (which by the way neither am I, however I don't think it exists here on SR), it will tell you to delete because you are a failure...but then what happens Wildflower if you do leave?
You are welcome here everyday, every hour, every second.. You are not going to bring other people down by your own struggles, allow yourself to be lifted up...
Stay here with us Wildflower...
Your AV/inner child/or whatever you want to call it will have its cake and eat it too, it will tell you that you aren't good enough, you're not part of the "clique" like everyone else (which by the way neither am I, however I don't think it exists here on SR), it will tell you to delete because you are a failure...but then what happens Wildflower if you do leave?
You are welcome here everyday, every hour, every second.. You are not going to bring other people down by your own struggles, allow yourself to be lifted up...
Stay here with us Wildflower...
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