JJ - I too am someone that gets stressed about the little stuff (like cleaning).
My wife is my best friend and a wonderful woman. She's one of those people that absolutely everyone likes (and I do mean everyone - it's almost sickening!) because she is so laid back, optimistic, and just sees beauty everywhere and in everyone.
She sometimes has to sit down with me and give me a gentle 'slap'. She picks her time (if I was driving it wouldn't be a great moment as I need to concentrate on the road - and in the UK, Boxing day traffic can be a swine!)
I suppose I'm saying talk to him. Remind him of the man you married and of the beautiful kids you have. Ask him to be a bit more relaxed as seeing his smile makes you float. Seeing his frown makes you weep. Appeal to that side of him that still exists but is masked by depression/worries/drink (who knows).
But most of all - DON'T DRINK.