Hi Wildflower,
I posted on your thread earlier today, I know you have lots going on, but drinking will not make any of it better. Make tomorrow your new day one. Start building those days up again, but find something to add to your recovery plan to help you when things get rough.
You need to want to get sober for you. I am a less than a week away from two years sober, and during that time I have faced some health scares, and family illnesses, all of these would have been made a million times worse if I were drinking.
Sticking close to SR in the beginning was very helpful, so was going for walks, journaling, reading some great recovery books, and really focusing on the things I had to be grateful for.
I hope to see you back here tomorrow on your new day one.