Originally Posted by
MIML 
I’m looking for support. How do you NOT take your SO disappearingnacts to use and drink personally? He swears it’s not me. He swears he doesn’t want to use. But here I am. Alone. Again. No notice, no text back, just gone.
Well, his drinking has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Someone in active alcoholism doesn't consider what their drinking or disappearing to go drinking does to other people. The priority is to drink, often until they're completely blinkered.
If you spend enough time here, you'll see that it's not just significant others that have to contend with this. It's parents. It's siblings. It's friends. And the most difficult thing to do is to accept you're powerless. You can't make them stop. You can only focus on you and take care of you.
Are you ready to do that?