Holiday time is a mixed bag for most of us--
I know when I was a small child, Christmas was magical,
Santa was real and actually ate the cookies I left him,
and one special year I found an amazing Apollo Racer bicycle
under the Christmas tree against all odds.
I loved that bike.
But as I got older, my mother's alcoholism progressed and holidays
began to be fearful and dangerous times, full of emotional landmines,
screaming and dysfunction, and I began to hate the sound of carols
and the sight of decorations.
When I became a full-blown drinker myself, it got even worse.
Christmas cheer isn't going to last long when you find it at the bottom
of a wine bottle. Or two. Or three.
Many of us drinkers drink to drown the pain we grew up with,
or to muffle the regrets we have of our own actions,
or often just to stop being lonely for a short while.
But using the holiday season as an reason to relapse is something
we need to be careful of, as it always backfires and generally
makes a sad situation so much worse.
My strategy for the holiday is to change the pattern,
reach out for love and positive energy doing things like helping
out at a food bank, engaging with positive, uplifting people,
and simply refusing to succumb to the triggers of family toxicity.
If you have to engage in a tough situation, make a plan
just like your sobriety plan, of what you will do to de-escalate
conflict and keep yourself sane and sober.
This may mean not taking sides, engaging in blame,
stepping out for some air, or even leaving the situation entirely if needed.
Keep it positive, be loving as you can, but protect and love yourself.
Your sobriety is worth it.
You are worth it.
Wishing all of you, dear SR friends, a happy and wonderful holiday
this weekend and into the New Year.
