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Old 12-20-2017, 07:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Weekender Thread--Tis' the Season


Holiday time is a mixed bag for most of us--
I know when I was a small child, Christmas was magical,
Santa was real and actually ate the cookies I left him,
and one special year I found an amazing Apollo Racer bicycle
under the Christmas tree against all odds.

I loved that bike.

But as I got older, my mother's alcoholism progressed and holidays
began to be fearful and dangerous times, full of emotional landmines,
screaming and dysfunction, and I began to hate the sound of carols
and the sight of decorations.

When I became a full-blown drinker myself, it got even worse.
Christmas cheer isn't going to last long when you find it at the bottom
of a wine bottle. Or two. Or three.

Many of us drinkers drink to drown the pain we grew up with,
or to muffle the regrets we have of our own actions,
or often just to stop being lonely for a short while.
But using the holiday season as an reason to relapse is something
we need to be careful of, as it always backfires and generally
makes a sad situation so much worse.

My strategy for the holiday is to change the pattern,
reach out for love and positive energy doing things like helping
out at a food bank, engaging with positive, uplifting people,
and simply refusing to succumb to the triggers of family toxicity.

If you have to engage in a tough situation, make a plan
just like your sobriety plan, of what you will do to de-escalate
conflict and keep yourself sane and sober.

This may mean not taking sides, engaging in blame,
stepping out for some air, or even leaving the situation entirely if needed.

Keep it positive, be loving as you can, but protect and love yourself.
Your sobriety is worth it.
You are worth it.

Wishing all of you, dear SR friends, a happy and wonderful holiday
this weekend and into the New Year.

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"There's almost as many terms and gradations for drinkers like us as there are stars in the sky.

All the study in the world - and all the subjective hierarchies - won't get people sober. . .

Only action can do that."


--Dee
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Old 12-20-2017, 07:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Thanks Hawkeye - great post

D
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Old 12-20-2017, 07:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
ours de petit cerveau
 
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shotgun!

thanks for the opening post Hawkeye - sage advice for the season
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Old 12-20-2017, 07:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I needed this. Thank you, Hawkeye.
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Old 12-20-2017, 07:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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That really is a great post, Hawkeye! Thank you!
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Old 12-21-2017, 02:30 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Weekenders - count me!!

Great OP Hawkeye - many thanks for that.

I would like to wish everyone a merry Christmas.

My best wishes,

B
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Old 12-21-2017, 03:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Wow.. I'm ggonna give it a go... 1st Xmas sober, something new...
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Old 12-21-2017, 05:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red78 View Post
Wow.. I'm ggonna give it a go... 1st Xmas sober, something new...
It's great - you get to laugh at everyone being silly and you just KNOW how they're going to feel the next day
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Old 12-21-2017, 05:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Good morning, Thanks Hawkeye.
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♡ love, peace and łkulele ♫♬♪♬
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Old 12-21-2017, 05:17 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm in. Great post Hawkeye. Thank you x
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Old 12-21-2017, 05:52 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Thanks Hawkeye great post!

great for giving it a try red 78!

Im in ! I will be 2 months on Dec 24 can't wait :score good

Merry Christmas everyone!
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Old 12-21-2017, 06:37 AM   #12 (permalink)
ours de petit cerveau
 
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Happy Solstice - Heathen's Greetings!

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Old 12-21-2017, 06:56 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome, Red!

Great to see you back, Behan!
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Old 12-21-2017, 07:10 AM   #14 (permalink)
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"Heathen's Greetings!"

I can't get too philosophical about the holidays without becoming a puddle, so I'm going to just sip my coffee and listen to this instrumental Christmas station here on Pandora and count down the hours.

Ridiculous that a day on a piece of paper can have this effect. Or maybe it was the bag of ginger snaps.

Regardless, I wouldn't have even HAD ginger snaps were it not everywhere right now.


Serenity now.
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Old 12-21-2017, 07:28 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I try and treat Christmas and New Year like any other day of the year 'just for today'. Last year I was one month into recovery and my body, mind and spirit was in absolutely turmoil - i hadn't realised how dependent on alcohol i actually was. I still managed to really enjoy being present though with my family and my eyes were opened to the reality and truth of love. i had to take myself away for self care almost every hour for an hour because my mind/body/spirit was so painful and i was at the beginning of a long healing process that never ends. But I am so grateful one year on and I can say that this holiday season I have enjoyed being out with friends and not felt any resentments around other people drinking. I do occasionally obsess around how long it takes people to drink but I have a solid step one and I know for me to drink is to die. My plan of action this Christmas is to get to lots of meetings to prepare myself for my family (can be triggery, my own stuff, not theirs) my responsibility to take care of myself. And i will be taking lots of breaks to pray, meditate, check in with other recovering alcoholics and read literature. Wishing everyone a happy and peaceful sober Christmas - enjoy every moment as a gift from your Higher Power and it will be a magical experience.
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Old 12-21-2017, 07:35 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I'm in. Absolutely beautiful Hawkeye. Thank you.

This will be my fourth sober Christmas. I was newly sober for the first one - it was a weird one, to be sure. Keeping it simple again this year. I find that is best for me and everyone - I used to go over the top with gifts, food, running to and fro - I would get stressed and try to relieve my stress with booze. I never ruined a Christmas for anyone else with drinking, but I'd be in a fog the whole time and not enjoy it at all, thereby ruining it for myself. Not doing that again. I prefer to quietly celebrate the opportunity to share time with family and friends, being truly present and creating memories. My granddaughter is 3 this year - old enough to get truly excited. It has been so fun spending time with her in this build-up time. My small immediate family is coming to my house Christmas morning for brunch and gifts and hugs. Looking forward to it. I'm hopelessly behind on preparations, because I have been sick all week, but somehow it will all get done. I need some elves to come to my house!

Whether this is your first sober Holiday, or if you have several under your belt, I wish for all of you a calm, peaceful time of giving your time and sober presence to those you love and who love you.

And if the holiday season is fraught with bad memories for you, and you'd prefer to crawl under a rock, be kind to yourself. It's really just another day.
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Old 12-21-2017, 08:08 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Terrific opening post Hawkeye, thank you.

Congratulations on shotgun Andy.

Welcome to Weekenders RattleAndHum, Red78 and rosiesouls, great to have you on board.

Hawkeye's observation about changing our routine is a good one, it reinforces our determination that it will be different this year.
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Old 12-21-2017, 08:10 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Happiest of Holidays, no matter what you celebrate!
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Old 12-21-2017, 08:19 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Welcome to you as well MyLittleHorsie!

I meant to say I have successfully got through going out to the pub for a while at lunchtime with my co-workers. A few others also do not drink although not for the same reason as me.
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Old 12-21-2017, 10:56 AM   #20 (permalink)
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