Thanks again guys! Sigh. Having a 17 year old daughter has taught me so much. And frankly I have AA and the people in AA to thank for pretty much 2/3 of my parenting skills. Its so easy to get swept up in her drama....but now I just sit, listen, ask how I can help? She usually says, oh I'm ok, then I make her food and we move on. Haha. Pause when agitated. If I do nothing, nothing happens. I love that.
So yeah. Reading so many posts here where folks are so frustrated with the 'why'. Why do I do this? How did this happen? What happened? I totally relate. I guess the answer is simply 'Because'. Accept it and move on. And accept that this recovery stuff is hard sometimes. That's ok. It'll get easier. Then harder, then easier....etc etc.
Aries posted a link that I thought was brilliant. Basically, this thing is the hardest in the early days. If ya keep relapsing....let me rephrase that, if I keep relapsing I just keep forcing myself back through the worst part. And teaching my ole brain that there is no pay off in sobriety. Which, of course, is utter BS. And for sure, the more times I say, he!! NO, the more my brain learns "oh, ok that wasn't so bad, I can get through this". The more I halt the process (do not pass go do not collect $200 dollars) the harder and harder this whole sober thing gets. Love that.
Peace to all. I'm going to take motrin (after a 2 hour workout) and get coffee with the kid.....and listen to drama and hysterics. Ok, that's an over statement. You get my drift....