Sending you strength and support. I too suffer with down periods and they can ne the hardest to weather. Just try to remind yourself how much worse it is when alcohol is then added to that mix. The AV fools us into thinking it will numb that anhedonia, or medicate the sadness, but in reality all it does is compound and exacerbate those emotions and create a cycle of despair and anxiety. Keep your head up and try to stay busy - read a great book, buy a cookbook and learn a new recipe, if you have a dog take him/her for a walk or call a friend you for a catch up. Hang in there - this will pass and you will be so happy to come out the other side.