When you first posted in your first thread I wasn't sure you understood the physiological issue of addiction. I even posted about it in the later part of one of your threads, here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6649368 (Has anyone ever called the 24 Hour AA Hotline?)
There isn't going to be a time in the future when you (or I ) can drink again safely. That line is crossed.
Religion...spirituality...very different things. I am Christian but I don't consider myself religious. There are many great works of literature and healing, including the AA literature - which I also linked in that post.
Good luck to you. Be done, yeah? Then the real healing begins.