Not sure what is going on but I am not feeling too great. I seem to have sunk into a bit of a depression and thoughts of drinking are near constant. I know it will pass. I fortunately do not suffer severe depression (unless I drink!) but sometimes have these dips. This one came on particularly quickly and particularly strong though.
I'm a bit nervous too because I have this big party planned for next week. I had thought it through carefully and felt really ok about it but am now wondering if I should call it off. I am decently convinced that I won't drink at the party because my work colleague are invited and I have already had the opportunity to let them know that I don't drink (which was no big deal, there are also a lot of other non-drinkers who work there). I am concerned about before or after though.
But in reality it is not a party that is going to make or break my sobriety, I could go out right now and get some wine, for no other reason that the fact that I am an alcoholic.
Just feeling really lonely, blue and down. I will try to call my sponsor later when she wakes up. For now, I just need to hold tight and stay busy. Laying around wallowing in my sadness generally does not help me, getting up and active does. And learning to ask for help.
