Hi Seasaw and Mike,
I don't come here to SR very often anymore. I have started back in therapy and I have a live codependents group that is very helpful, but as this holiday season is here and my triggers are all over the place, it feels good to check in again.
Seasaw, I finally went NC with my family of origin (alcoholic narcissistic mother, codependent/possibly alcoholic/narcissistic father and manipulative possibly alcoholic sister) almost 2 years ago and I want you to know that your excellent posts over the years helped me with the courage to do it. It is not perfect, I am not guilt free, but I am healthier and "free-er" than I have ever been. I am slowly, but surely growing in my self worth and understanding. In the perfect world, we would have loving, healthy parents/families and thus "normal" , healthy relationships with them, but we don't have that. However, NC is certainly a relief from the constant drama and pain that I used to endure. My therapist says that often we codependents confuse "guilt" with just sadness. I think sometimes I have a hard time just admitting to myself that I am very sad sometimes. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks. You helped me a lot and didn't even know it.