There have been many times that I find myself lost in thought, imagining myself yelling at my STBXAH, his father, his mother, his sister, and his aunt. I've written them letters I've never sent too.
I am embarrassed to admit how much time I've lost or wasted doing this.
With the latest situation in my divorce process, and since I was sent this passage, I am doing my best to start opening up my heart to the possibility of forgiveness so that I can start to reclaim my thoughts and unburden my heart and mind.
I am doing this not for them but for me. Holding onto this "anvil" from Honeypig's story is becoming an anchor for me.
I chose to divorce my STBXAH because I wanted a better life for my son and for me away from the chaos, sadness, and madness. Holding onto my anger and resentment though , I think, is holding me back from the better life I want. Over the last 48 hours, I've spent a lot of time thinking that if I don't figure out a way to be open to forgiveness and "Give him to God" every time I feel trespassed then I'll continue to be stuck in the same chaos, sadness, and madness. Maybe I'll live in a different house but as long as I don't change my thoughts and feelings, I'll remain his hostage.