Dear SOTC,
What a painful, heartfelt post you've written. I just want to encourage you and to let you know you're not alone on this journey. Getting older really sucks, there's no way else to say it. Your decision to be sober is the best choice you can make for yourself and your elderly parents. Detoxing your body from a poisonous depressant you've been pouring down your throat for so many years will certainly improve your outlook for the future. That's the first step and the most important thing you can do. Try AA, get as much support as you can face to face with others who understand what it's like to have a serious drinking problem. There's plenty of us out here. Sending prayers your way.