I strongly agree w/what dandy said here^^. Forgiveness is something I've struggled with for most of my life, and it's only in the last couple of years that I've begun to understand who I'm really doing it for and what it really means.
I'd like to share an AA story:
Paul, an alcoholic, is bound and determined to swim three miles across a glacier-fed lake, carrying a thirty-pound anvil the whole way. Jumping into the ice-cold water, he begins to swim across with one arm, holding on to that anvil as if for dear life. Less than halfway across, he is struggling mightily. The anvil, which seemed so easy to lift when he was back on shore, now feels like an anchor. His lungs are burning, his muscles are screaming, and he is beginning to panic.
On the opposite shore he can hear people yelling. A minister cries out, "Hang on! We're praying for you!". A doctor shouts, "Don't give up! We're doing research, and eventually we'll figure this out!". A psychiatrist loudly encourages the sinking swimmer to reflect on his childhood in order to lighten his load, while a philosopher holds up a huge banner printed with big letters: "Willpower! Ethics! Morals!".
Confused, gasping for breath, certain that he is about to die, Paul hears one clear, insistent voice rising above the others.
It is the voice of an AA member; "DROP THE DAMN ANVIL!".
Resentment and anger are the anvil, but I had to get good and tired of swimming that lake using only one arm before I was ready to drop the anvil. It takes time, that's for sure, and time takes time.
