SaturatedSeize

Welcome to SR Holly, and I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.

This is a great place for you to get the perspectives of alcoholics that have accepted they are alcoholics and don't put the blame on others. We acknowledge all the mistakes we've made and want to learn from them to be better parents, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, all the titles we hold.

First of all,

We as recovering alcoholics are our own worst critics. We have put those we love through a lot and are in various stages of coping with that guilt. You won't offend us, and you deserve to be open and honest with how you feel about your situation.

We alcoholics can be a savage and manipulative beast. Do NOT give in to his games, you are NOT crazy, or at fault, or in the wrong. You are doing everything you should be doing for your protection and sanity. It is hard because the veil is being pulled up and you are seeing him for what he really is. Alcoholics hide their alcohol.

Unfortunately, you are going to be hurting, whether it's with him or without him. Do yourself a favor, and hurt without him. If he's willing to get help, great. But if he isn't ready, you need to take a step away because it will only get worse.

You've promised yourself to always put yourself and your children first. This will be a real test of your conviction to yourself and them. Don't let your emotional feelings overcome your rational ones. You know what needs to be done, but it's hard to do it. Use your resources, your Aunt sounds like a wonderful support for you.

Good luck, and please be safe. Stick around and keep us updated.